sigh. . .

That's what I told myself to do tonight. Just sigh. I'm feeling both overwhelmed and underwhelmed by my life right now. One might think those two would cancel each other out and I'd feel neutral, but that's not the case with feelings. I could make a list of hows for each word, and perhaps that would be helpful. But for here, and because this came to mind quickly, I'll share this. I feel overwhelmed by all the creative ideas that are finding their way to me. Crafty items I'd like to make, others' creations I'd like to explore on-line and stories to write. I'm feeling underwhelmed by my career right now. I have a few interesting short-term projects I'm working on that have been a bright spot the past few weeks. Aside from that I've received more no's to visit requests and gift proposals than I care to think about, and I completely understand why people are hesitant and feel the need to say no, not now, or not ever. No is still tough to hear, over and over. I'm grateful to work with a supportive group and an understanding supervisor. . . and really, to work at the U altogether. It was a dream and I do love it there.

I can actually feel the warmth of the sun on my feet as I type. Days like today make me question why I'd like to live in Ireland, since this is close to typical weather for much of the year. My visit was deceiving in the weather department.

Looking back a few days, I had a spectacular Saturday. Over the past two years I've greatly reduced the amount of time I spend shopping for non-essential items. Spending lots of time on the weekends in stores, even if not buying anything, was a typical pattern for me. I think in early 2008 I made an intention for the year to reduce this habit. . .and lovely enough, I'm still practicing it. As a result I now spend more time enjoying my home and with friends and family on the weekends. And my consumption of items that bring me less joy has dropped dramatically. All this explanation to say I had a wonderful shopping day last Saturday. I'm convinced it's because I saw it as an adventure, rather than a routine. I found some decent deals and stuck to my list.

The highlight of the day was visiting Hunt & Gather in Minneapolis. Not a new place at all, but new to me. I've rediscovered my affection for vintage items. I was all about going to flea markets and "junking" after I graduated from college. I found some cool stuff - but again - I had just too much of it. Now I am almost ruthlessly selective with my gathering. I stick to items that have use beyond decoration, and one of something is generally enough. I'm also not drawn to the big state fairgrounds flea market setting anymore. Just too much. There are two antique stores in West St. Paul, across the street from each other that I swing through quarterly or so. And now Hunt & Gather. Ironically, what I loved most about Hunt & Gather is that the store is mostly organized with like items grouped near other. Perfect for comparing and making quicker decisions. Brilliant idea to me!

My focus for the rest of the week (maybe longer) is to find balance and peace in the overwhelming and underwhelming of life. I've been there before, and I'll be there again. Now is the time to explore some ways to be with the -whelming.