green with something other than envy

poem by Esme Evans

Did you know there's poetry on many St. Paul sidewalks? Check them out sometime now that spring is on its way - they are a fabulous nod to public art.

Today I've been thinking about envy. . . from the side of someone else's envy. My first development supervisor, who took a chance and hired me 12 years ago, just accepted a position back where we worked. She sent me a facebook message about this over the weekend, that she's excited and that it's all a bit surreal. I responded with congratulations. And today I received another message from her that ended with her saying she enjoys keeping up with me via facebook and that she's envious of my life.

Really? That was my first thought. My second was beige. Because that's how I've been seeing my life recently. Beige. The word even sounds like how I hear my life right now. Beige. As I'm typing this and trying to think of more descriptors or explanations, I realize I can't. Only beige will do.

Today I came to the realization that envy isn't any better when you're the object of someone else's envy. I've probably felt this in the past, but today I feel the need to write this realization in the public sphere.

I also remembered something one of our coworkers told me, not long after my 22 year old self arrived on the scene some 12 years ago. It was something like this. . . just remember that if you want someone else's life, you will get their entire life. That includes both the green and brown grass in their yard.