Sunday, January 4, 2009

worship

After many months (years, really), I took a leap of faith this fall and started attending Sunday morning worship at Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church. I'd visited the church before - once as a child when I was part of a wedding that was held there, and once when I was in high school to see a living nativity performance during the Advent season.

I'm not yet able to fully describe why I enjoy this new experience so deeply. Perhaps because it's new. Perhaps because I'm participating in it with people whose lives are a bit more like mine. Perhaps because there are more people worshipping together than what is familiar to me. Perhaps because the service I attend is more traditional than not. Perhaps because I can light a candle when I walk into the sanctuary. Perhaps because after even this short time, I'm starting to feel connected. Whatever it is, I'm thoroughly enjoying it right now.

This is an interesting place for me to be at this time. One foot at Saint Paul's and one foot at Hennepin. I've called Saint Paul's home for 33 years, but when I'm asked why I attend, I'm not able to give a reason that I'm proud to share. Because I have for 33 years. Because my mom attends. Because it's a mile from where I live. Because I have some connections there. Because of habit. Or my favorite that I told our new pastor when she arrived: I don't know why I come here, I just do. I feel like I should attend Saint Paul's.

I've come to the conclusion that should isn't a reason at all for me anymore. Maybe a concrete, clearly articulated answer for either is something I won't be able to express. Maybe this all about feelings rather than analyzing thoughts. Time will tell.

5 comments:

  1. Jill...combining your NY Rituals post and worship post...sounds like you are craving change...and I think that is okay. I think Hennepin is a neat church... I wish you peace making your choice!

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  2. If your soul feels fed more at Hennepin, then I think you should explore that. Sometimes what we're comfortable with isn't the thing that is the best for us. I hope you find a place you can fit with both feet and I hope that either way I'll still get to see you regularly!

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  3. It's worth going where you feel energized.But you have to keep coming to our book club (please)!

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  4. Thanks for commenting... Dreams are weird... sometimes they are so vivid... I was thinking about starting to garden again...bet that is it!

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  5. Hi Jill, yes I'm trying this posting thing. Hennepin is great, some years ago I attended Hamline for probably many of the same reasons you connected to Hennepin. Eventually I found I could not very well participate in activities at a church so far from home. So I went to the parish model and found St. Paul's. What I find there are the connections... but having a foot in two places is a neat way to go!

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